“I just feel like I’m doing everything right, but nothing’s changing.”
That’s what one of my clients said to me last week.
She’s 39, has two kids in private school, works long hours, and somehow still finds time to exercise. But her body hasn’t changed much in years — she feels “skinny fat,” stuck in the middle.
And most painfully…
She thinks she’s broken.
But she’s not broken.
And if you’re reading this and nodding along — you’re not broken either.
📉 The Classic Trap: Eat Less, Do More
For years, she’s been eating around 1,200–1,400 calories a day.
She’s not bingeing. She’s not lazy.
She’s disciplined — to a fault.
You might relate. You’ve cut carbs. Skipped meals. Tracked on MyFitnessPal like a champ.
But the fat isn’t shifting the way you hoped. Your energy is in the bin. And every time you do increase food a little, the scale goes up, you panic, and it’s straight back to chicken salads and stress.
Here’s the uncomfortable truth:
You can’t build the body you want on fumes.
🧪 Let’s Get Scientific
You’re likely sitting in the mid to high 20% body fat range. That’s not overweight, but it’s not where you want to be either. You’re holding onto fat in areas you’d like to lean out, but the weight on the scales doesn’t scream “drastic action.”
The problem is:
- You don’t have enough lean muscle mass to give you the toned, athletic shape you want.
- Your metabolism has adapted down after years of eating too little.
- You’re under-recovering, underperforming, and overthinking.
Muscle isn’t just about “getting big” — it’s your metabolic engine. The more you have, the more fuel (a.k.a. calories) you burn just being alive.
That means more food, better performance, better shape, and less fat long term.
🧠The Mindset Shift: More Food = More Progress?
This is the part where your brain fights back.
“But I’m trying to get leaner… why would I eat more?”
Because eating more — strategically — helps you:
- Build muscle: which gives you shape and strength
- Perform better in the gym: which drives faster progress
- Regulate hormones: including leptin and thyroid function
- Improve mood and sleep: which reduces cravings and burnout
- Raise your maintenance calories: which makes your next diet phase far more effective
This isn’t a free-for-all. It’s structured, intentional, and long-game thinking.
Like planting seeds in spring — you don’t get fruit tomorrow, but come summer?
You’ll be reaping the rewards and wondering why you didn’t start earlier.
đźš« The 1200-Calorie Myth & The Skinny Fat Loop
1200 calories. The magic number from the 90s diet books.
Except… it’s also the average caloric needs of a toddler.
You’re not a toddler.
You lift weights. You work. You think. You run after kids.
You’re a powerhouse. And powerhouses don’t run on salads and fear.
Staying too low for too long leads to:
- Muscle loss
- Hormonal disruption
- Poor training performance
- Binge-restrict cycles
- Feeling like you’re spinning your wheels
❤️ Real Coaching, Real Change
This is the work we do together in coaching.
We gently increase food. We track how your body responds. We build training that’s smart and effective, not random or punishing.
You’ll start to:
- Feel fuller
- Sleep better
- Lift heavier
- See visible shape
- And feel in control
You’ll stop seeing food as the enemy — and start seeing it as a tool.
That’s when everything clicks.
🙌 You’re Not Broken — You’re Undernourished
You don’t need to diet harder. You need to recover better.
You don’t need to weigh less. You need to lift more.
You don’t need to eat like a bird. You need to eat like someone with goals.
The truth is: most women I coach are trying to build a house without bricks.
Food is your material.
Lifting is the blueprint.
Rest and patience are the cement.
Give it time, effort, and the right plan — and the change will be visible, sustainable, and worth it.
đź’Ś Ready to Break the Cycle?
If this sounds like you, and you’re tired of guessing, restricting, and hoping something clicks — I’d love to help.
This isn’t a quick fix.
It’s a smart plan, with coaching that actually supports you.
We’ll get strong. We’ll eat well. We’ll stop the madness.
👋 Join the Sustainable Strength System and let’s rebuild from the inside out.